Goes to the naked, masturbating, pooping, bullet dodging assailant in Florida. Seriously, its hilarious, and luckily no one was seriously hurt. The Huffington Post has this glorious story in all its detail, but I’ll post the recap. And yes, I know I’m a bad person for making this into a joke but… he pooped on the floor:
Let’s Recap The Allegations Against Bruni:
1. Got naked, climbed onto the [Homeowner] Lands’ roof.
2. Attacked Tony Land by jumping on him and hitting his shoulder.
3. Ran into Lands’ house, knocked down a TV and spilled the contents of a vacuum on the floor.
4. Dodged bullets fired by LaDonna Land.
5. Masturbated in the living room.
6. Rubbed clothes on his face in the Lands’ son’s room.
7. Defecated on the floor in two places.
8. Drank the contents of the vacuum.
Now that is a busy day, if I say so myself.