White House Declines To Build Death Star

The Death Star. Photo: Lucasfilm

The Death Star. Photo: Lucasfilm

So the White House has a policy where Americans can offer petitions for consideration. Anything over 30,000 signatures will receive an official White House response. In what will no doubt prove to be the most awesome petition ever, 34,400 people have requested the White House to build the Death Star from Star Wars. The official petition goes as follows:

Those who sign here petition the United States government to secure funding and resources, and begin construction on a Death Star by 2016.

By focusing our defense resources into a space-superiority platform and weapon system such as a Death Star, the government can spur job creation in the fields of construction, engineering, space exploration, and more, and strengthen our national defense.

Because it received over 30,000 signatures, it received an equally awesome official response:

This Isn’t the Petition Response You’re Looking For

By Paul Shawcross

The Administration shares your desire for job creation and a strong national defense, but a Death Star isn’t on the horizon. Here are a few reasons:

  • The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We’re working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.
  • The Administration does not support blowing up planets.
  • Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?

However, look carefully (here’s how) and you’ll notice something already floating in the sky — that’s no Moon, it’s a Space Station! Yes, we already have a giant, football field-sized International Space Station in orbit around the Earth that’s helping us learn how humans can live and thrive in space for long durations. The Space Station has six astronauts — American, Russian, and Canadian — living in it right now, conducting research, learning how to live and work in space over long periods of time, routinely welcoming visiting spacecraft and repairing onboard garbage mashers, etc. We’ve also got two robot science labs — one wielding a laser — roving around Mars, looking at whether life ever existed on the Red Planet.

Click here to read the rest.

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5 Responses to White House Declines To Build Death Star

  1. paisstat says:

    How about allowing businesses to prosper without government intervention? And allowing many start-ups to come online where they can’t now because of the overburdening regulation, which benefits established companies, not to mention the bail outs!

  2. Amid all the negativity coming out of Washington, it’s good to read something worth a laugh.

  3. Reblogged this on Real Talk and commented:
    thought this was pretty awesome 🙂

  4. I was a bit confused yesterday reading the tweets about this.

    But yeah this is pretty funny. Love the response. The official petition was pretty great as well.

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